When we feel good about ourselves, we gain clarity and make better choices. When we make better choices, our lives inevitably turn out for the best.

But, if you struggle to feel good about yourself in the first place, where do you begin? Firstly, if you don’t love, value and respect yourself how can you expect others to love, value and respect you either? It is easy to blame a person or a situation for the so called “drama” in our lives that make us think we are unloved or undervalued, but if the truth be told, we are fully responsible for everything in our lives. As Louise Hay so aptly puts it “No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for “we” are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.”

So look inward rather than outward for that feel good factor and focus on the greatness that already exists within you:

• Choose a favourite part of your body. Even if it’s just the colour of your eyes, find something to love about your body.
• Choose a positive personality trait of yours. Even if it’s as simple as making people laugh, find something to be grateful for within you.
• Choose an admirable talent you have. Even if it seems mundane to you, find something to be proud about yourself.

I strongly suggest starting with feeling good about your body, as self-image trips so many of us up on our journey to self-love. The more qualities you can find that you love, are grateful for and proud of about yourself, the more you will feel good about yourself in all areas of life. No doubt you will also feel calmer, more relaxed and be able to think more clearly. From this clarity you will then be able to make those better life choices that I mentioned earlier because they are based on a foundation of self-love.

So grab a pen and paper or use your phone notes app and start making a list of all the things that make you feel good about you. Keep that list and continue adding to it as well as reading it back to yourself, particularly when ever you don’t feel so good about yourself.

And most importantly, don’t be afraid to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself because you are perfect just the way you are. Like a diamond, a rose or a cloud, there has never been a being exactly like you and there never will be. And like all rarities you should be treasured and looked after, first and for most by yourself.

Human nature presents us all with a tendency to over work, over schedule and over commit ourselves at times and with that often comes under appreciation of ourselves. Well new flash – Martyrdom may have been all the rage back in the dark ages, when martyrs were applauded for their suffering, but not so much these days. So be kind to yourself and lay off the self-hatred and guilt and avoid unnecessary suffering by making life more complicated than it needs to be. Instead focus on the good within you, the good you have to offer the world and the good the world has to offer you.

Photo by Arthur Eliot via Vogue